less roller coaster

more cotton candy

and/scene
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Gingerbread, which can’t be the title because it doesn’t make any sense anymore, is now, after 30 days of writing my bananas off, just over 50K. Not all of those words are staying, and ohemgee, not all of them are very good. In fact, maybe half are salvageable, but the bones are there, and more importantly, I managed to write almost every day. I had 300 word days and a 5,000 word day. My hands are sore, and I know that I have months of hard work ahead of me, but I’m super happy right now.


 



“But you’re dead.” As if he couldn’t bring light to an alive thing. But Emerick. He didn’t breathe, either. Both of them, father and son. The Knock said they were abominations.


Aiden’s eyes darkened. His touch changed. He moved his hand. “Is that really what you think?”


Was it? Aiden had looked right with Min, careful father, peculiar lover. Curled up together, a comfort, the closeness of their bodies, how right they fit. I shook my head. I could taste vodka, salt. I dropped my head to the Blood King’s shoulder and felt his arms around me.


“Be right with your words, Haven, they are all you will ever truly own.”







93/93
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so what if the vampires are Thelemites, and part of that is Resh, the ritual adoration of the sun. Except vampires. So that would suck, hey? Ha! See what I did there.


The idea of vampires managing True Will doesn’t seem like a far reach, either. Do what Thou Wilt Shall be The Whole of The Law. Isn’t it, mostly for our undead friends?


anyway. This is a crumb, mostly for me. Should we have Thelemites in a YA book? I’ll try to avoid the sex magick. For the most part.


 


Huzzah!


 


 





chorus.
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the song in my head goes round and round


I think my novel became two novels. It grew, like one of those little plastic dinosaurs you add to water until they expand.


I’m trying not to make my relationship between my x-hundreds of years old vampire and a sixteen year old girl creepy. It’s harder than it looks.


Often times authors get asked what music they listen to when they write. I used to listen almost exclusively to Echo & the Bunnymen, then sometimes it was Johnny Hollow, and sometimes William Control and sometimes Seabound. Now, however, I have to write in complete silence. If I don’t, I can’t hear what the story is trying to tell me.


I printed off my mss. so far. It’s strange to have it looking like a real book.


what’s even weirder? is feeling like a writer again.


ps: over 50K. :)






chorus.
Moody gives a thumbs up
mekkavandexter
the song in my head goes round and round


I think my novel became two novels. It grew, like one of those little plastic dinosaurs you add to water until they expand.


I’m trying not to make my relationship between my x-hundreds of years old vampire and a sixteen year old girl creepy. It’s harder than it looks.


Often times authors get asked what music they listen to when they write. I used to listen almost exclusively to Echo & the Bunnymen, then sometimes it was Johnny Hollow, and sometimes William Control and sometimes Seabound. Now, however, I have to write in complete silence. If I don’t, I can’t hear what the story is trying to tell me.


I printed off my mss. so far. It’s strange to have it looking like a real book.


what’s even weirder? is feeling like a writer again.






and now july.
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Somehow, July has started. I am looking for June under the covers; lifting corners, peeking around bedposts and beneath the cushions of chairs. I suspect its hiding, confused about how many days it has, how much summer its allowed to take up.


July means CampNaNoWriMo, 30 days long and 322/words a day. It’s such a simple, easy goal. Right. :D


I’m also going to attempt Radical Self Love July, a month-long instagram challenge. Today is “silly selfie day” – while I’m not overly fussed about always looking Fabulous! I do admit feeling a certain desire to at least shower before I do this. Given that it’s 2:20pm (all night dance parties mean late wake-ups), I need to shake some tail-feathers.


But I did eat noodles and broccoli. So I feel pretty accomplished.  Albeit still a bit hungry.


Also: my feet hurt, I’m tired and don’t have much energy, but am super bummed there’s no more dancing today.





if your friends don’t dance, well, they’re no friends of mine.
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A post on dancing, for posterity.


This weekend, the mighty fine folks at a basement pub (Dickens. They Rule) put on, what is, the largest Industrial music festival on the west-side of North America. TERMINUS is in it’s third year, and what insanity it was.


So, here’s the lineup. Bands I’ve seen before get an asterix. Bands I would see again in 3.1 seconds get an exclamation point, bands I wouldn’t be disappointed to see on a bill again get a tilde.


Day 1


Sangsara

MEND~

OHM~

Die Warzau~

Mr. Kitty~

Alter De Ruine

Psyche!

Tactikal Sekt

[:SITD:]*!


I’ve seen [:SITD:] twice, but adore them. Psyche, the old school boys from Edmonton were just wicked to watch – older, more confident. Secure in what they were doing, and a believable Joy Division cover (Oh, and one of Goodbye Horses, too) which makes those of us in the audience who are of a certain age, super happy.


Day 2!


Photophore


[product]~


{iVardensphere: Singularity}*~


GOFIGHT


3 TEETH~


Kevorkian Death Cycle!!!


WASTE


Haujobb/DSTR*!


Decoded Feedback*


So, [product] is least one half of Talking to Ghosts, the podcast out of Portland I’m really enjoying – you can’t really go wrong with harsh ebm  portlandian vegans, I figure. I enjoy not because I’m mad for harsh EBM, but because Michael seems like a super swell dude who loves music, and portland and vegan pubs and these are all things I can get behind. iVardensphere is semi-local, and shows up fairly consistently. This set was him, a table, drum pads and whirly beep machines. That’s it. We stood around him and he played his whirly beeps and it was good, and fun. Normally iVardensphere are 300 people on stage playing tribal EBM, so it was pretty wicked to have that intimate experience with all those folks.


Kevorkian Death Cycle! Egads! SO fun. Any band you get to see after knowing of them for +20yrs is kind of awesome.


3 Teeth. Rumour has it 3 Teeth are saving the future of Industrial Music. I’m not actually going to disagree, here, as their sound is solid, their stage presence well crafted, and they are, it would seem, The Whole Package (now, TWP is either good, or it’s not). If Industrial is your bag, I recommend. Go, click a link.


Now. HAUJOBB! I’m marry Haujobb when I grow up. Daniel Myer (who is the Jobb in Hau) played Terminus last year – anything he touches seems to be instantly loved, but before last year I’d never really listened to what Daniel, himself, was putting out. I realize this makes me an idiot. He’s fun, dedicated, charming, cute as a button, german, and understands that if you put him (in his other guise as Architect) next to an extremely loud band from France (we’ll get to that on day 3), then playing the Cookie Monster/Rebecca Black mashup and Beastie’s Fight for Your Right will be the smartest move you make, possibly ever. I have learned that whatever Haujobb does (like a cover of the sister’s Lucretia, My Reflection. Hell, to the O) I will like. It will make me happy.


Day 3


Cygnets


Dead on TV


Cyanotic


Rabbit Junk


Comaduster!


Author & Punisher!


Chrysalide


Architect!


Covenant!*


Ok! Day 3! So excited, and so very tired at this point. Pro-Tip: there is very little you can do to 1) not be tired and 2) save your feet/lower back on the 3rd day of a music festival in which the first band comes on at 5:30pm, and the last stops between 1:30 and 2 am. Or, in the case of Covenant, slightly after that.


Comaduster played last year, but being an early band, we’d actually missed them. They were invited back, moved up higher on the bill, and are, in fact, loved now. If you’ve figured out already that this weekend’s sound-selection was tough ‘n crunchy, you may enjoy. Click on the link.


NOW! can we talk about Author & Punisher, one guy with Contraptions who is thud-good and put me into an actual trance? I get I was tired, but no word – I am pretty sure I was in a secondary location during half of his set; a place where everything was good and nothing hurt. F’reals. Here’s a snippet from the official site:


Described most succinctly as “industrial doom,” this one-man project utilizes primarily custom designed and fabricated machines and speakers. From Shone’s background and current position as a mechanical engineer, his designs and devices draw heavily on aspects of industrial automation and robotics with also a focus upon the eroticism of interaction with machine.


Holy cheese on toast I loved it. So much. I want AP & Zoe Keating to craft a super spooky soundtrack to something. Anything. Something with lots of red, red blood and trees. Great, dry-limbed trees that creak in the wind, whose roots lift and when they settle the whole earth shudders. It would be incredible + happy making. And yes.


Okay! Now! More Daniel Myer, this time as Architect. I’m still marry Haujobb one day, so that hasn’t changed, but Myer followed Chrysalide, the angriest men in france. Holy shitballs was their set loud (go earplugs). I thought, for reals, I might fall right over due to the wall o’ sound. Anyhoo, not my bag, sure they’re nice boys, I went and sat down for a while, but! Daniel Myer. I just adore him. Haujobb/DSTR/Architect, don’t matter what we call him it’s just another word for Love.


Our Covenant friends closed out the night, with a set that was so long (normally not something we complain about around here) I thought I wouldn’t actually make it through the whole thing, at least not upright. I actually hired my fellow to hold me up during their 2nd last song, just so I could dance through the last one. I was out of spoons. Completely and utterly. But! So much ridiculous fun. I can’t even. It was spent with my sister-friend, a newish friend we made at Terminus last year, and a feller she found on the hotel shuttle. I have no complaints. At all.


I’m exhausted and the house looks like a hurricane hit it, but right now the room is quiet save the hum of the fridge. I’m going to make toast and have some juice and enjoy Canada day. I love it here, it’s a really good place.


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the sun came out on a cloudy day
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this morning Jay Lake passed on. I met him once, maybe twice, but I know so many people who love and respect him, and I am so very sad for them. I was thinking about this, while driving to meet some people I love, trying to navigate a marathon, blocked streets and all.


there’s something in feeling the death, and then seeing hundreds and hundreds of people working so hard at being alive. I’m going to go do the dishes and then find the ending to the wolf/raven story.


 


 





this is how the heart breaks.
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If I could write a story that made someone feel the way this song sounds at about 1:48, I would never have to write another thing.


 



 





i made a thing and ate a thing.
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Recently, as you know Bob, I was in Portland. My feller and I (as you also know, Bob) discovered this magical place called the Waffle Window, and today, for breakfast I (with some pre-prep) re-created a waffle-palooza made of lime curd, strawberries, coconut pana cotta, maplesalt coconut chips and whip cream. I didn’t have liege waffles, so I dipped the freezer case belgian (sometimes a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do, yo) waffles in a simple syrup. Holy geez, Batman. They were sticky and delicious and MAGIFUCKINGYUM. Um, Swearing. I don’t normally do that on ye here intergoogles, but dudes. The pana cotta was not awesome outside of the waffle. Agar agar, I do not understand this thing, and have never used it before, but it was so nice to make something ‘set’ without having to mentally go through the process of ignoring gelatin (not veggie-friendly. I have a cheat with fish sauce/anchovies, but boiled cow feet are tougher to move past) – not that I’ve ever made a thing with gelatin, either. So! Delish. Seriously. I know have a metric oodle of lime curd, though. Do I need oodles of lime curd? Probably not. I will now have to google to find out what to do with it. I could make fried oatmeal, but this thing sounds complicated just at the moment. Or perhaps, I am lazy :D


Also – finally watching ORPHAN BLACK. And ee. Did not realize full eps were on Space, but now we’ve watched 3, and there should be more but must wait until feller comes back. Damn this watching teevee with other people, altho! Now I won’t be watching teevee until bedtime, so that’s a good thang.


gosh I need to edit the categories on this blog. So many categories! :D


okay, that’s enough for now. i should go edit Gingerbread, which I have now renamed GingerbeadV2: Asylum, for Reasons. We’ll go into them later, if this experiment works.


oh, hey, is that cornbread?





the long way back (again) queries and rewrites
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I follow author Jodi Meadows (we started on the same workshop, she went onto fame and fortune. She also has Dedication and tenacity!) on twitter and the world, and she linked to a query post (here) that she worked on with a fellow writer person. I read this, and went through it, and did an exercise in which I wrote the silliest (earnest, but silly!) query for GINGERBREAD. It was, in a nutshell, a book no one would ever want to buy because it sounded INANE.


So I kept writing the query, and in writing it I realized I’d brought my main puzzle in too early. That the Piece I had needed to come later, and now I have about 15K to, essentially, re-work (some serious rewriting) in order for this to make more sense, and the book, itself to make more sense.


Ay Karumba. Anyhoos. I’m off to buy agar agar and stew over this. Those things are only semi related.


 


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